Celebration of Life of Heather Cutler: A Legacy of Advocacy and Love

Who was Heather Cutler?

Heather Cutler, born on November 26, 1960, in St. John’s, Newfoundland, to Peter and Jennie Burry, was a dedicated nurse at the Health Sciences Centre and a beloved mother, daughter, sister, wife, and friend. Her courageous battle with pancreatic cancer revealed the systemic healthcare disparities faced by those living outside of Canada’s urban areas, where high-volume cancer centers are located. In her honor, the Heather Cutler Foundation was established to continue her legacy of advocacy and support for those affected by the disease.

Below is the transcription of the funeral service held in her honour. We hope this brings comfort and remembrance to all who knew her.

Opening Remarks

Rev. Rebecca Pike, Gower Street Church

Good afternoon. We gather here today to grieve our loss and comfort one another. In sorrow, we gather and we give thanks for life and surround her family and all those she loved with support, strength, and encouragement. May these words of scripture bring you comfort. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.

Today in our time together we will share memories and help each other cry. As we remember Heather, together we'll be commending her into the care of the one many of us call God, the mystery of love, the centre of our lives. So let us pray together.

Opening Prayer

Oh God, creator of all life, help us to accept death as part of life, trusting in your goodness and great love for everyone of us. We feel now the pain of parting with a loved one and we rejoice with so many who were privileged to experience life with her. We entrust Heather to you in death as in life. You entrusted her to us. We pray in sincerity and hope, amen, and we'll gather our voices together in singing where the rose never fades, and the words are printed on the insert in your bulletin.

Hymn: Where the Rose Never Fades

Words of Remembrance

Bethany Cutler

Good morning everyone. Thank you all for coming. I'm Bethany, Heather's daughter. I'm just going to jump right into it.

My mom could do anything, and if she didn't already know how to do it, she knew that she could figure it out. For my grade nine grad, I couldn't find a dress that I liked, so we went to Fabric V, picked out the material, and she made me a custom Heather Cutler design. It turned out exactly like I wanted, but who was surprised? My whole life is filled with stories like that. I remember one time when she couldn't find a patio umbrella stain that suited her. Next thing, she had out the saw, she got some two by four and some stain, and she just built her own.

When I bought my own house, this kicked into high gear. It was a whole new to-do list for her, and she loved that prospect and the opportunity to teach me what she knew. She showed me how to install a kitchen backsplash, and she worked with my Uncle Dave to take my laundry room back to the studs and add a second background. As a construction duo, they were unstoppable. Mom had just finished her fifth chemo treatment when she showed me how to use an electric sander as part of refinishing my stairs. My friend Steph recently told me, "I think about your mom every time I put a screw in the wall."

Mom loved peanut buster parfaits, always did the whole peanuts, not the crushed ones, beautiful sunsets, campfires, games of Scrabble and Jeopardy, that commercial with the Haribo gummy bears. But she loved her friends and family best of all. That was so clear in the way that she looked after us all of our lives, and even after she was diagnosed, she was still thinking about how to make things easier for us after she was gone. We picked out her urn and her flowers, her service details together. When we asked her how she could be so strong, she just said, "Well, it has to be done." And that was her—doing whatever needed to be done right up until the end. I will forever be in awe of the strength and the grace that she embodied throughout her illness.

Well, it has to be done.

Mom was a nurse for 35 years, and it showed. She was no fuss, no drama. Have a cup of tea and a piece of fruit for your headache, and you'll feel better. I've always known she was a good nurse because of how she cared for my family all her life, but it's been so incredible to hear her coworkers sing her praises this week and speak about how excellent she was to work with. I've heard time and time again that she was always cheerful and positive, never getting annoyed, frustrated, or upset. And just to clarify, she definitely did sometimes get annoyed, frustrated, and upset, but it was usually at my brother and my dad.

In truth, though, mom's positivity and kindness were ever-present and infectious. She was the life of the party, and I have many memories of her playing hostess for various nursing socials over the years. I particularly remember one night around Christmas when I came home from downtown and she was still sitting up in her elf costume waiting for me to come through the door, and she was annoyed at me that time. All growing up through school, our house was the hangout spot with the good snacks, and mom loved to be involved with all of our friends. Her smiles, laughter, and hugs were always genuine and heartfelt, and she loved to be surrounded by family and friends and cared so much about us all.

When I think about how much I love my mom, I think about the St. John's Airport and the one time I was away for any length of time during university. When I finally got home after four months, her and dad were waiting at the bottom of the escalators, and I couldn't wait long enough to get through the crowd in front of me, so I just ran down the empty stairs instead because she was, at her core, the kind of person you just couldn't wait to come home to.

Mom would want me to take this opportunity to thank the many, many people who supported us throughout her illness. Folks who called and stopped by, brought food or a kind ear, her incredible former coworkers who took such excellent care of her on Five North B. I know there were times when she was overcome by how much people cared about her, but if you knew my mom, of course they did. It was impossible not to. She would want me to encourage everyone to continue these kindnesses in her memory.

Before she went, mom told me she would always be with us. We just had to look for the signs. And believe me, they're there even in just the last couple of days. When you are sad or grieving in the coming days, I encourage you to remain open-minded and you'll feel her. Mom, I will miss you forever and love you even longer.

Prayer for Healing and Renewal

Out of My Sight

Written by Henry Van Dyke, Read by Christopher Cutler

I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

Memories of the Heart

Author unknown, Read by Stephanie Schwartz

Feel no guilt in laughter,
He knows how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile
That he’s not here to share.

You cannot grieve forever,
He would not want you to.
He’d hope that you would carry on
The way you always do.

So talk about the good times
And the ways you showed you cared.
The days you spent together,
All the happiness you shared.

Let the memories surround you,
A word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture
A time, an hour, a day.

That brings him back as clearly
As though he were still here,
And fills you with the feelings
That he is always near.

For if you keep those memories
You will never be apart
And he will live forever
Locked safe within your heart.

How Great Thou Art

Sung by Anne-Marie Cox

O Lord my God, When I, in awesome wonder, 
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made; 
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, 
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art! 

When through the woods and forest glades I wander, 
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing; 
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in; 
That on a Cross, my burdens gladly bearing, 
He bled and died to take away my sin.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art! 

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation, 
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration, 
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, 
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

Reflection

Rev. Rebecca Pike

I had the privilege of growing up in a world that allowed me the honour of being in circles that overlapped with Heather and the Cutler family. And while it has been years since I have gotten to interact or see any of them, this past few days together has been a reminder of countless times together with our families overlapping in Terra Nova in the summers, enjoying nature and community.

So I can stand here in good faith and good knowledge saying that Heather lived a life of love, a love that never gave up. A love that cares more for others than for self. A love that doesn't strut or flaunt itself, but opens its arms to every person it meets. A love that always looks forward, that keeps going ahead, that trusts in what is to come. And these words, this type of love, it shows us how life-sustaining our relationships are when they're guided by a love like this. A love that comes from faith, from trusting that what one puts out into the world one will receive back to themselves.

Heather's life among us was one that she allowed to flow based on love and relationship. It didn't mean that the tough times didn't come, it didn't mean that there wasn't hardship and frustration, but it meant that if you focused your attention on the love, you could keep going. So in a life characterised by love, it is without a doubt a hard day. When we have to say goodbye, we can continue to live a life that Heather taught us through patience, kindness, respect, and also perseverance.

Knowing that all of these memories and signs are ways to continue our interactions with Heather every day of our life to continue to push ourselves towards doing good, to helping, to putting love out into the world and knowing that it will come back to us. Heather witnessed this when her illness came, love came back to her through the nurturing care of those showing up for her in the smallest and the grandest of ways, asking for nothing in return because they knew if they had been in her position, she would've been doing the same for them.

Love is not cheap though, and it is costing all of us here something today. It is costing us a whole, a lacking, but we must remember that we are still together. Heather is in each of us in our hearts and our memories. While she has returned to be with God and her father, Peter, we get to carry them all with us every day. Because without a doubt, when God's definition of love, when God measures our lives by love, God was measuring Heather's life as endless and beautiful.

So today let us focus on the love. Let us focus on the love that Heather offered each of us that brings us to this space. Whether we are gathered in physical body or those that are with us via livestream. She brings us all together today and does not leave us. She simply changes how she presents herself to us.

I didn't know what Bethany was going to say, but this connects very well. The simple signs are going to be there. We have to be willing to look for them. We have to be open to ourselves. We have to say that I am going to feel grief, I'm going to be sad. But let me remember that the love that Heather gave us has no end, no boundaries, no finality. Life in our human bodies does. But the love we offer each other, that never ends. That is how we are brought close to one another and to God, whatever that looks like to you.

So may this idea of love, this endless surrounding boundless beautiful love, console and comfort as you mourn, as we love continually, even if it has to look differently. And so today, let us celebrate in love because that is what Heather would want us to do. And while we all know that our lives will never be the same, we are not losing a loved one. We are continuing on the journey of life with a loved one in a new form. One who is still with us and offers us witnesses to her presence each time she calls us to her mind.

We just need to keep ourselves open to hearing that voice, seeing that sunset, or listening to that breeze, trusting that in one day we will be together in another space in another way.

May it be so. Let us pray.

Prayer of Thanksgiving

Rev. Rebecca Pike

Loving creator, we come before you now with heavy hearts, yet with gratitude for Heather's life. In the midst of our grief, let us pause to reflect on the blessing she has been to all of us.

We thank you for the gift of her presence, for the love she shared so freely and for the strength she exhibited on her journey even in the times of illness. Though her time with us was shorter than we wished, we will cherish every moment, every smile, every exchange.

We acknowledge now the pain of this passing, the ache of loss that echoes within our hearts, minds, and souls. Yet in the midst of this sorrow, may we find solace in the knowledge that she is now free from suffering, embraced in your eternal love.

Holy creator, we also hold in our prayers today all of those who are living with pancreatic cancer, in all forms of illness and hardship, physical or mental, that they may know the blessing of your peace, the love that abounds from you.

Today we are grateful to Dr. Dawn Armstrong, Dr. Bruce Doland, Dr. Karen Doden, the palliative care paramedics, Heather's former coworkers, the staff of Four of Five North B, and all of the friends and family who have supported Heather and her immediate family with love and grace. May they know the blessings of your peace. And remember the love of focus.

We hold Barry, Bethany, and Christopher in our hearts and minds, all of Heather's extended family as well. May they know the blessing of your peace and feel the freedom to grieve openly knowing that the journey ahead won't be easy, but that you and Heather are with them each step of the way.

Oh God, so grant us, oh God, the courage to entrust Heather into your care, knowing that she is held in your love. And may her memory be a blessing that sustains us through the days, weeks, and months ahead, reminding us always of the power of love, the resilience of the human spirit, and the hope that springs eternal from our times. Together in your holy name.

Closing Remarks

Thank you all for being here today to honor Heather’s memory. May we carry her spirit with us always and find comfort in the love she shared.

Recession: Spirit in the Sky

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